Now her philosophy—the virtue
of selfishness—helps readers
chart a path to true love. _________________

"There is no other book on the market
[that I know of] that can compete with
the ideas presented here to help
you achieve a successful romantic life."

"..reading it I couldn't help but look back
on my past relationships and think 'I wish
I had this book then.'"

Ayn Rand on Romantic Love

One gains a profoundly personal, selfish joy from the mere existence of the person one loves. It is one’s own personal selfish happiness that one seeks, earns, and derives from love.

Love is the expression of one’s values, the greatest reward you can earn for the moral qualities you have achieved in your character and person.

Love is not self-sacrifice, but the most profound assertion of your own needs and values. It is for your own happiness that you need the person you love, and that is the greatest compliment, the greatest tribute you can pay to that person.

To hold the body of... [a lover] in our arms is neither ugly nor shameful, but the one ecstasy granted to the race of men.

Romantic Love

Romantic love is neither mysterious nor ineffable. The causes of romantic love can be and need to be understood through introspection--that is, looking inward at one’s own thoughts and feelings.

Love is not causeless; it is something you have to earn. There are many factors involved in love, including common values and individual, personal preferences. Moral character, however, is the foundation for love and is indispensible.

Egoism is your foundation for romantic happiness. Egoism doesn’t mean a mindless hedonism but a mutual valuing of yourself and your partner. True love is egoism for two.

Finding a Partner

Anyone who wants to establish a long-term relationship is faced with the question: What’s essential in a partner for my happiness? Identify what you do and do not like about your potential partner and why. Introspect to identify the causes of your reactions.

Your looks matter! You are neither a body without a mind nor a mind without a body. How you take care of yourself and present yourself physically says a lot to a prospective romantic partner. It speaks to self-esteem and self-valuing.

Wanting appreciation for your good qualities and actions (wanting visibility) is the opposite of wanting approval to eliminate your self-doubts.

Love is not causeless; it is something you have to earn. There are many factors involved in love, including common values and individual, personal preferences. Moral character, however, is the foundation for love and is indispensible.

Loving with Passion and Reason

Emotions alone are insufficient to make the thousands of decisions and guide all the actions that have to be made over many years in order to sustain a passionate, intimate romantic relationship. Love can be sustained only by an active mental process--the process of thinking.

Your own worth and character can never be enhanced or diminished by your partner’s achievements or failures. Your self-esteem comes from your own choices and actions.

It is precisely because they are in love that partners need to communicate—to strengthen and deepen that love.

Admitting mistakes is not a sign of weakness but of moral integrity. This strengthens your self-esteem.

The Importance of Sex

Sex is an intensely selfish pleasure and is based on both a deep emotional connection with your partner and a selfish desire to give your partner equal pleasure. The pleasure of sex is properly viewed as an end in itself, not as the means to any other end.

Emotional intimacy is the most fundamental prerequisite for sexual interest, arousal, and pleasure in a successful long-term relationship. Sex can reinforce romantic love but cannot create closeness from thin air; it is the expression of love, not its cause.

Sex is an important part of romantic partners’ lives together. It is true that active, productive people have to make time for sex, but sex shouldn’t be relegated to the category of a spare time activity. Sex is too important a pleasure and too crucial for promoting intimacy to be put on the back burner.

If you show indifference to your partner’s sexual pleasure, you are showing indifference to your partner.